T
ool & D
ie page 18
I wanna bang AT LEAST 30 more super hot girls. I'm
talkin' Kim Kardashian huge boobed girls, or better yet some
blue eyed sexy Russian with an accent I can't stand. Wait, I'm
getting ahead of myself. That's further down the list. I'm self-
ish, did I mention that? I was just taking a shower in the dark
thinking about how selfish I am. I do that because I think I'm
cooler than everybody else and if I shower in the dark I'll have
an epiphany. Well fuckers, I did.
I started putting my wants and desires on triangle-
like shapes in my brain. A food pyramid if you will. From
stuff at the bottom that I wanted that was completely for
me (and coincidentally seemed to occupy about 90% of
my thoughts) to higher up stuff that had loftier goals for
humanity (free beer for everyone!!!!). On an extremely
primitive level, I want my teeth whiter. I wanna be
taller. I'd like to eat more meals at Ichiban and less at
BK. This is all shit that only affects me, but dammit,
I want it. It's on the bottom of my pyramid. Next
up the slope I know I wanna sleep with tons of
hot women. I can't help it, I sing in a band and I
wanna do chicks. But I realized this was slightly
less selfish because I'm damn good in bed and
the girl(s) are definitely getting something out
of it (don't check references).
I kept climbing my ladder of self
absorption and the next plane I came to
was the most obvious: I wanna be a huge
rock star. I want the fame, the girls,
and the ability to throw a bed out of
a window with little to no conse-
quence. I want that. I wanna per-
form to millions of people all over
the world. But I also wanna write
songs that move people, that in-
spire them to cry or throw up.
I wanna sing on stage with a
passion that compels people
to scream. Sure, I want the
fame, but I also HAVE TO
move people. Come to
think of it, that's not all
too selfish.
But why do I
want to be famous?
Why do I want the
money and the no-
toriety? Because
I want to help
people. I want
to buy my dad
a house in
the French
Riviera to
retire in.
I want
get my
sister a
n e w
c a r
s o
that she doesn't have to put up with
her Hyundai breaking down every
5 minutes. I want to open a ven-
ue and hold a festival in Syracuse
that promotes artists who play
ONLY original music. I want to
help myself, but I also want
to help others succeed.
Damn, I'm a pretty
good dude.
And
I
guess at
the
end
of the day,
when
it's
all said and
done, I want
to be able to
look at myself
in the mirror and
know I put every
last drop of my soul
into something, and I
accomplished it. Then
I can join my dad on
his patio niche on those
long fall sunsets, and we
can shoot the shit about
philosophy, or how that
Asiago we ate was aged just
the right amount. I wan-
na drink Busch Lite now
so someday I can drink
Boudreaux. I need to
ride in a beat up mini-
van now so some-
day I can ride in a
tour bus. I want
to work my ass
off so that some-
day I can watch
that
sunset
and
realize
I've found
true happi-
ness. You
s h o u l d
w a n t
t h a t
too.
I
'm
S
el sh -
Y
ou
S
hould
B
e
T
oo
By
Mick Fury
www.silentfury.net